Latest Tweets:

collegehumor:

Memes That Stoners Will Understand
So dank. Woah there’s even more!

collegehumor:

Memes That Stoners Will Understand

So dank. Woah there’s even more!

(via collegehumor)

deathbypigeons:

gdmcrlover:

beatboxgoesthump:


THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!
AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.
AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.
AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.
AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.
WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.
BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.
THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.
AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.
AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.
I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.
THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.
WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.
WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.
I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.
HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.
UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.
TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.
HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.

i fucking love the shit out of this.

Reblogging this again cuz it is literally my favorite post ever

TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.
*metal band screeching softly in the distance*

deathbypigeons:

gdmcrlover:

beatboxgoesthump:

THEN RAISE THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KIDS!

AND GIVE YOU ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING LOVE AND SUPPORT YOU’D EVER FUCKING NEED.

AND PAY THE HELL OUT OF THAT FUCKING MORTGAGE.

AND THEN WHEN THE GUTTERS ARE CLOGGED I’LL GET UP THAT FUCKING LADDER AND CLEAN THAT SHIT UP WHILE YOU STAND BY THE KITCHEN WINDOW COMICALLY JUDGING MY WORK.

AND THEN WE CAN VACUUM THE FUCK OUT OF OUR CARPET SO HARD THAT WE’LL HAVE TO GET A NEW ONE.

WE’LL WASH OUR CLOTHES SO GODDAMN FUCKING HARD. FORGET NO RINSE, WE’LL USE HIGH FUCKING SPEED.

BUY A FUCKING MINIVAN TO STUFF OUR BEAUTIFUL FUCKING BABIES INTO IT AND DRIVE THE FUCK OUT OF IT.

THEN WE CAN GO SOME FUCKING PARENT-TEACHER MEETINGS AND MEET THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KID’S TEACHER. THEN JUDGE THE SHIT OF HER IN THE CAR.

AND WE CAN THEN PILE ALL THE CHILDREN IN THE FUCKING MINIVAN AND GO TO THE STORE AND SHOP FOR GROCERIES SO HARD THAT WE ACTUALLY HAVE TO MAKE MORE THAN TWO TRIPS TO GET ALL THAT SHIT INSIDE THE HOUSE.

AND THEN COOK THE FUCK OUT OF OUR KITCHEN UNTIL WE HAVE NO FOOD LEFT AND WE FEAST ON THAT SHIT FOR FUCKING DAYS.

I WILL EAT THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR HOMEMADE COOKIES.

THEN WASH THE SHIT OUT ON THE DISHES TOGETHER UNTIL OUR ENTIRE HANDS GET FUCKING PRUNEY.

WE’LL WATCH OUR KIDS FUCKING GRADUATE AND MOTHER FUCKING TEAR UP LIKE THE BADASS BOSSES WE FUCKING ARE.

WE WILL GROW SO DAMN OLD TOGETHER, WE WILL LOOK LIKE FUCKING RAISINS.

I WILL FUCKING TELL YOU EVERY SINGLE SECOND HOW MUCH I FUCKING LOVE YOU.

HOLDING EACH OTHER’S FUCKING HANDS SO HARD THAT WE SHIT OUR SELVES.

UNTIL WE DIE AND ROT AS MOTHERFUCKING CORPSES TOGETHER.

TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.

HAPPILY EVER FUCKING AFTER.

i fucking love the shit out of this.

Reblogging this again cuz it is literally my favorite post ever

TIL DEATH DO US FUCKIN PART.

*metal band screeching softly in the distance*

(via totoroyolo)

trugazi:

can’t wait to own dogs with u

(via pizza)

*11

missdemonchan:

this isnt as funny as i thought it was

(via matesprit)

ivysaw:

ivysaw:

I THINK MY MUM IS WATCHING PORN

never mind it’s game of thrones

(via the-fandoms-are-cool)

thatdisneylover:

radisssh:

I DONT THINK PEOPLE UNDERSTAND HOW HARD ANIMATORS WORK

WHAT BUGS ME MOST IS WHEN ANY ANIMATED MOVIE BECOMES FAMOUS (DISNEY, PIXAR, ANIME’S, AND TV SHOWS) THE WRITER GETS 99.9999% OF THE CREDIT.

DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO DRAW THE SAME CHARACTER SLOWLY MOVING 24 TIMES- ONLY TO MAKE ONE SECOND OF ANIMATION?

HOW MANY SKETCHES THEY MADE?

TIGHT SCHEDULES?

PEOPLE NEED TO APPRECIATE ANIMATORS MORE. 

PREACH! 

(via blackforestfeathercaketruffle)

jerkidiot:

I’m doing an easter egg hunt for my cousins and someone is gettin a meatball

(via ruinedchildhood)

how I tell stories

  • me: and then she was like
  • me: and im like
  • me: but then shes like
  • me: then theyre like
  • me: so i was like
  • me: yeah like
  • me: i know like
  • me: ye